Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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