Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I cannot find my penis.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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