The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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