Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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