i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just gargled with NyQuil
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
