I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
