I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i think i have herpe
just one?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
