What tipped you off? The sombrero?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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