My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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