I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
