i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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