This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
