Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
