11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
