i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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