it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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