I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
