Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
