For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
