let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
