my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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