So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
