just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
