I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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