Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
