Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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