god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
