I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
