He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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