i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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