My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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