You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize