I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Buhtt sex?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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