I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
