dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
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