The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
