no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
