either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
