I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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