You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
