I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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