I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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