I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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