Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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