Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize