Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
