i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
