The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize