Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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