i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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