the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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