Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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