Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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