I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
