Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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