Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
