This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
