I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You were trust falling into bushes
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
