oh god the rape fog is back!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
