First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
