what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
